“Jesus, You Can Have All My Yesterdays” is one of my favorite songs that Guy Robinson brought to Camp. (The same one John Vonder Bruegge refuses to sing for me and hurts my feelings — really). I sing it all the time. It’s been one of my children’s lubbabys and has meant the world to my spiritual life. I thought I meant it. Most of the time I do. I mean it when I am afraid of tommorrow. I mean it when I don’t like some of my yesterdays. I mean it for today.

I’ve just spent the weekend at my old camp. Things are changing and they are changing quickly. I want to see Barnabas grow and I want to see it get better, but it is so hard to let go. Jimmy Dodd, work crew hero, prayed a prayer Saturday night that slapped me in the face. He gave God his yesterdays at Camp. Am I willing to give God my good memories? What if He wants to take them away? What if He wants to take Camp away? Am I willing to really say, “Jesus, You can have all my yesterdays?”

I had a similar thought on the way to Camp. I was listening to Avalon and their song that says, “I don’t want to go somewhere if I know You’re not there”. I’ve listened to that song and prayed that song over and over as we’ve thought about this move to Bristol. But…. what if God had said, I don’t want you to go to the Camp Reunion. Did I even seek His permission on that? Or did I do what I wanted to do?

I am beginning to wonder if I am a full time Christian or one of those Christians who just runs to God in trouble. You know, those that I’m not all that crazy about. How much? How much of me am I REALLY willing to give to God. I know what I say, but what about my actions?