I’ve not blogged in a very long time but my friend, Holly, has been begging me to write a book. I don’t know why. She says crazy stuff happens to me that is not normal for most people. I think it’s because she is from farther north and just doesn’t understand the southern way of life. I know some crazy stuff does go on but I don’t know that it’s really all that out of the ordinary. Sure, I just went for a walk at the gated park this week and a truck came plowing through and nearly ran down all the walkers and joggers. It was just an elderly man having an episode. It did get my heart rate up,  though. I’m not a writer. Perhaps I’m a better storyteller. I’ve told her I’d tell her my stories and she could write them down. She wants me to start writing my memory or just jot down my day. Some of my memories just aren’t fit for reading and will never be published anywhere but… I guess I have a few memories I can talk about.  I’ll start writing memories down tomorrow and perhaps this jotting down of my day will appease Holly for now.

This morning, I was sitting on the front porch swing (in my gown) with my coffee and my Bible when a neighbor yelled from the sidewalk that Coach Mac’s twin grandbabies were born last night and all is well. I think that’s normal but for some reason, Holly thinks stuff like that is classic. I don’t get it. She would have had a laugh today, though. I decided to go for an afternoon swim. Actually, I was going to float my hind-end on a Big Joe float and read. I picked up the float and gianormous spider came out and ran up my stomach. It’s a good thing I read my Bible this morning.  You know those giant water spiders. Good Lord, they are ugly as sin! I started swishing him over to the filter. That’s when I realized he was a she and there were a million babies on her back. I got them to the filter without incident. I climbed on my float and just as I got really into the ending of “The Paradigm,” I felt something on my arm. I looked down and I had a million baby spiders crawling all over me! They were running up on my arms, on my legs, my back, my chest & heading to my face! I jumped off the float into the water.  That didn’t do any good.  Those darn things walk ON the water! I splashed them, ripped off my bathing suit and started yelling “I’m not your mother!” I swam to the side with my suit in hand.  Once I was arachnoid free, I looked around to make sure my neighbors weren’t looking out the window and tried to discreetly put my suit back on.  It doesn’t go on wet as quickly and easily as it does dry, by the way. It was a struggle, but it did get my heart rate up.  I came in and marinated chicken for dinner. Normal day.  Happy Holly?