It Christmas night and I’m bummed.  I “missed” Christmas.  You see, it kind of sneaked up on me a little this year.  I don’t know if it was because Thanksgiving was later in the year or what.  I know I’ve about drowned in busyness.  There’s work and school and homework and life.  We had festivals, concerts, waves of illness, a death, Ron went to Ecuador, parties, shopping, volunteerism,  on and on it goes.  Every year, we do nightly Advent devotions and attend special church services.  I usually do an Advent study for my quiet times.  We moved in March and I wasn’t sure what I did with my Advent wreath and didn’t have time to look for it.  Once I found it… I don’t know, it just got skipped over this year until a week before Christmas, but even that was sporadic.   I’m overwhelmed and exhausted.  Instead of running to the One who can give me peace, I collapsed into bed every night only to start the same running all over the next morning.  My quiet times were traded for sleep, Church was missed due to illnesses and the Shank family Advent just got lost.

Oh I’ve listened to all the Christmas music that proclaim the birth of Jesus, I’ve wrapped the gifts in red and green, I’ve cooked and cleaned and made Christmas treats.  I’ve put up the tree, hung the stocking and lit the candles.  I didn’t miss Christmas on that account.  I just missed the Baby.  I was the one this year saying “No room!”  Last night, I had some good alone time with the Baby.  I went outside in the clear Christmas Eve sky and thought of the birth of my Savior.  I listened to Silent Night and felt the holiness surround me.  Tonight, I’m thinking of all the people who I asked, “Are you ready for Christmas?” and they replied, “I’m ready for it to be over.”  That was always such a sad statement to me.  Yet, tonight I understand why they say that.  Without knowing Jesus, I’m ready for Christmas to be over.  I’m ready for the milking of my wallet to be over.  I’m ready to quit running my dishwasher three times a day.  I’m ready for all the activities to be over.  I’m ready for all the excessive eating to be over.  I’m ready for the family drama to be over.  I’m ready for the hurtful memories to be over. I’m ready for the greed to be over.  I’m ready for the unrealistic expectations to be over.  If this is all they know, no wonder they are depressed at Christmas.  I’ve had a taste of that hopelessness this year and Bah-humbug!

But to know that Baby!  Oh the peace!  Oh the joy! Oh the love!  I’m not ready for Christmas to be over.  I’m ready for Christmas to begin!  I’m ready to say “Be born in my heart – again and again and again!  My Savior is born!  Our friend, Shaun Tomczak, tweeted this statement this morning:  “God loves you so much that He came down from His throne to be born in an animal barn, setting right what you could never do yourself.”   That’s what Christmas is all about Charlie Brown! 🙂  I sit here tonight set free.  Sure I still struggle with issues, but because of that Babe laying in the feed trough, I know forgiveness! I know peace.  I know hope and mercy and grace… and unconditional love.  Don’t let Christmas be over for you tonight.  Let it begin.